3 reasons why you shouldn’t listen to others — even me.
What could be more relieving than stepping out of those four walls?
Daddy this, DD that! As if the whole world is crying out the varieties of my name.
Claustrophobic is less of a word to define me.
Seriously missing those days that it’s just me, my reading table and mattress.
Many days, I find an excuse to leave home.
Today, I smartly take up an errand that hardly concerns me.
If you live in my situation, you will agree that I’m less smart. Most people around me believe I’m being modest by saying that, they think otherwise but I understand better.
Here’s why I said that:- I married at the age of 25 — with a large family, little salary (16k Naira) and a Bachelor’s degree. Nothing more.
Stupid right? I’m just like this guy!…
Not that the age matters a lot, I was pretty sure things will turn out to my favour.
But did it? N/Y
With 3 kids, a wife, no job and draining a bank account, you could sense what’s about to happen.
But am I scared? Again, another deep question.
Aside from that my landlord will come knocking at my door latest by the end of June, I’m never scared.
Even at that, the worst would be, “I don’t have the money now, I’ll pay you later.”
I’m sitting here thinking about getting home when dinner is served hot — but this loneliness is so comforting a company I don’t want to let go. This headache as a result of hunger will not allow me to stay longer.
Two things now, I didn’t regret getting married when I did. I didn’t regret quitting my job when I did too. But, I’m pretty broke and very close to bankrupt. Ultimately, I’m very happy?
The sole reason for this is that.
I did my thing — my way.
The day I announce getting married — everyone thinks I’m crazy. They like my fiance but they think she’s pregnant already. For love and respect, no one says it to my face or have the courage to ask.
Aside from that — I inform those I choose to.
I forget to inform some important people but I also cut out those that may see my invitation as asking for financial assistance.
For three years, I tried starting a side hustle but it didn’t work for me. Building it in tiny bits just didn’t work for me. Besides the investment isn’t there — for those years, I literally lived from my hand to mouth every single month. So, no space for an extra side hustles investment.
When the time ticks to say stop, I said it with a caps — STOP.
While working on the side hustle revolution. I religiously listened to Ramit Sethi, Pat Flynn and James Altucher.
Oh! Almost forgot. I’m still a citizen of the side hustle nation.
Unfortunately, many things I learnt from these great guys didn’t deliver the expected results. Mind you, the situation is subjected to human/ my errors too.
The last time I checked, none of these guys talked about you starting a side hustle when you close from work at 6 pm, then you quickly jump on the bus and sit in traffic only to get back home at 10 pm. No electricity and you’re freaky tired of typing a number on your phone, talk less of checking out the trends on Twitter. I rush to bed so that you can meet the early hours of 5 AM if you don’t want to be late at work.
The ideas and concept they preach are workable, but in my context, it’s difficult to practise. I tried, but I failed.
Good news is; I’m failing forward in the success direction.
In one of my poems, I wrote that people should never listen to books or live their lives based on people’s look about it because context matters a lot.
In everything that happens, I never regret or blame anyone for it. I’m responsible for all of my actions.
Here are 3 reasons why I do my thing — my way.
When people talk to me or advise me, I have a modicum feel that;
Is he telling the truth?
As much as I’m quick to believe, I pause and play whatever anyone says about two to three rounds before coming to a conclusion about it.
I’d even include the gestures that accompany the words.
When people advise you, all they talk about is their perception of the subject matter.
How they feel, if you understand well, has a lot to do with their background, beliefs and other psychological nudges.
A closer perspective ensues when they relate the subject matter to their personal lives, just as I’m doing right now, or rather, they tell a story of somebody that something close to the situation has happened to and find a way to match it to your situation.
The fact is, no two problems are the same. Obviously, different problems can never have similar solutions.
Therefore, the trust issue tends to set in.
However, either you’re saying the truth or not, I do my thing!
Looking for someone to blame
You need not to quote me, please. When people tell me things and I do them, I tend to blame them when things eventually go wrong.
I may not tell it to their faces, but I blame them. At least — in my mind.
Most people listen to other people’s advice or totally follow their lead in matters that relate to their personal lives because they don’t trust their own decisions and when things go wrong, they find who to hold accountable.
Lying to oneself
When things happen to you, 50% of the time, you know what to do.
Asking for other people’s advice or opinion is only to validate what we already have in mind. When they provide their thoughts about the issue and it turned out contrary to yours.
What do you do?
Do you take theirs or stick to yours?
If you take theirs without any conviction, welcome — you’ve just lied to yourself.
To crown it all, when people advice or randomly talk about any issue.
Before I make decisions off that, I examine the context.
That’s the take-home — Examine the CONTEXT.
What do you think?
Someone said, whatever life throws at you, make the best of it. If it throws you a lemon, make out a lemonade.
Life is just what it is I’ve heard many say.
Most times, I attach many things to destiny. I believe it prevails in every circumstance either we like it or not. However, we’re still the master of destiny.
We work the talk or thoughts.
If you work hard to achieve your goals in life, that indicates that you’re destined to walk that direction to achieving it.
If you don’t, it’s destined to go that way.
The important task in life is that you work towards achieving your dreams.
That’s why quotes like this put me on the check;
“When life chooses to be harder, change to be stronger. Because, what hurts you today, makes you stronger tomorrow.”
Therefore, I’m taking the less travelled path to make huge impact in the world rather than the little insignificant ways.
Today, I launch Qudro Collective – a data storytelling initiative that advocates for the sustainable development goals. Not in full flesh right now, but it’ll grow beyond telling data stories to equipping youths with the necessary resources needed to thrive and lead a responsible life in this 21st century.
What truly counts is the impact we make in our community and globally.
In this piece, I want to share the 2 main reasons why I took the direction.
- Making Impact is for everybody
Most people think that making impact and influence is for the rich or powerful.
It’s for all of us. You don’t need to be the national face or a global icon to impact the world. No matter how small your community is, if you choose and decide to make impact, start in your little town and you’d be glad you did.
2. Making impact is to be yourself to the fullest
For you to make impact, you’ve to find your true self, ready to be you, enjoy being you and be willing to put everything about you in the service to others.
Once you’re comfortable with these, you give compassion to the world and you see that a little act of kindness goes a long way in changing the world.
It’s not a must to launch an initiative before you start making impact;
You can create positive impact everyday by doing this little acts;
- Give more
- Smile more
- Help others
- Create more love
- Spend quality time with your family
- Nurture relationships
- Surprise someone you love
After a long time, I indulged in Airbnb again.
An old boss, Chairman as he’s called, invited me to a hangout.
He ranged my phone, “which levels na Bobo, Faaji dey o.” So, I joined him.
At the back seat, were two ladies arguing about which lounge we should patronise.
The pink lips lady -Modupe, said, “Let’s see who gets kingged tonight at one lounge.”
The other, Cindy, was particular about Macedonia wine at another. The ladies couldn’t resist visiting their respective lounges.
Turned out that Chairman had his plans. He smiled as he nods to “Soco.”
We arrived at this warm and comfy environment, with coloured lights smiling at the walls to reveal the Cajun nature of the masterpiece.
I don’t usually have fun, but when the claustrophobic me get the chance, I do it the “nusu nusu” way.
You ain’t getting much fun in your favourite space, advice the management.
Here are 4 hacks they should tick.
Organise Open House Events
Lounges can launch open house events with local businesses to create classical love feelings. Lock fingers with a fashion company to host shows like white nights, afro nights, balling cliques and past blast.
Fashion stops + tequila shots is irresistible.
Deep words carry souls, connect with comedians and poets to slam dunk an elite experience.
Classic guests are attracted to top-notch offers. Create an elite membership program blended with hot chicks, matured minds and low-key grooves for your guests. This membership program can spot up Kingers, MVPs and Top Chairs.
If Lounges play smart with this, membership programs would double your profit fast fast.
Capitalise on your Web Presence
Your second front gate should be the web. A detailed web presence attracts the ballers. That whose left thumb rubs the screen of their iPhones.
Take advantage of Facebook love, Instagram crush and ever seen Google places.
Give your guest a virtual tour of your décor, delicacy and wrap it up with a sensational copy.
Leverage Celebrity Voice
Quilox never carries last.
Have some celebrities do a fantasy freestyle with your lounge name in a jingle. Like, “Sleekly bar isn’t far for a star to ride.”
Do you get the gist bah?
Partner with some “street boy” Uber drivers to turn up the jingles on flashy weekend nights.
This is a strategic advert style to get the words into potential clients’ souls.
The hospitality business is never a one-man know it all sector. If you know about the operations, you can’t be a pro in ideation or sales.
That’s the reason you must ask a team of expert where every individual is a pro in each category.
These will help them create spikes in your guest’s memory?
Are there other trips that thrill you?
Let me know in the comment.
Originally appeared on Thrive Global
Do you know the #1 thing that makes us exceptionally successful?
Sleep. It is called.
Despite it reducing stress and inflammation, it sharpens your memory and boost creativity. This modicum plus a single dose of action are essential ingredients of success -sleep accompanies better action too.
Travelling is novelty. Your mind needs to be sharp for a successful trip.
Writing is fun for me, but it doesn’t come naturally unless I sleep well.
Too bad, I have difficulty sleeping when my mind finds itself away from home, particularly on the first day. Travel stress disarms me.
A trip left me feeling overwhelmed as a result of travel plans, the safety of the destination and the travel experience – solely because I wanted to have a road feel, I travelled 1,548 kilometres.
I lost the feel almost halfway the journey – before Abaji, Abuja.
On getting to Rahama Hotel along Damboa Road, my brain was already saturated, and I could barely think.
I had had a poor sleep all night on transit, I flatted down and didn’t wake until late evening that day. The sleep wasn’t deep but I couldn’t leave the couch.
It’s a “workation.” I needed to be atop my game. I’d be talking to some folks and researching the presence of the state, but my brain was drained – I typically left every experience by.
Almost late, but I was rejuvenated. Else, I wouldn’t remember the taste of the disappearance of Delehi, the coarseness of Brabisco and the sweetness of the rice inclusive Kunu.
Because sleep is necessary when you travel, these four ways will get better sleep on a trip so you don’t miss the “meaty” fun.
Pen down your time
The best way to cull out your sleep time is to break your day by the hour. Write them out.
Allocate your travel goals on an hourly breakdown, and enjoy every in between of places, cuisine, culture and language.
If you switch between towns, depending on the travel time, take a full 8-hour sleep at night or reduce it a little and make up for it with a 1-hour afternoon nap, just don’t doze off on transit unless you feel safe.
By writing my hourly allocation, I successfully identify and block out activities that don’t align with my travel goals -i.e Watching TV. I can do that in Lagos, why Maiduguri?
This also substitutes as my schedule for the period. Before I leave the hotel every day, I know how long I’d stay out, what I’d likely do and when I’d be back in the hotel room.
Great point. Please, don’t be hard on yourself.
You can slot in some out-of-travel activities provided they would be worth the time. I actually sat for an online and got certified right on that hotel couch.
Replace Coffee with Ginseng
For the fragrance, I love coffee. Not for any more reason.
In fact, I just googled “why people take coffee.”
Most mornings, I take a cup of coffee but that’s only when I’m home.
While away, I replace coffee with Ginseng. There are many Ginseng products in Nigeria but I use two – Ginseng root and Ginseng sweet.
I often use the sweet when I’m off home. A pack in my bag keeps fatigue away. It produces a sedative effect that helps me sleep well. And it aids digestion.
After meal each night, I’ll melt two wraps in my mouth. Minutes later, I’d feel a smooth relief.
Avoid sugary food
I was hanging out with the locals in “Abujan Talakawa.” – Translation: Poor people from Abuja.
Our conversation was informing but the scorching sun was wicked. Disrupting the enlightenment, I went for a bottle of chilled Coca-Cola, I got one at room temperature but finally had two before leaving.
If you need your sleep, avoid the sugary product. If you do, burn up the effect with a slight exercise. Else, your body will pay for it with a huge sleep currency.
Practice mind travel
A wandering mind invites sleeping difficulty. Over-excitement, stress, psychological and biological issues sometimes stray the mind.
A calm mind finds nights of sleep. Almost immediately. It’s natural.
Conscious mind travel helps defeat insomnia.
I’m not a yoga person, but I’m a firm believer of mindfulness.
My go-to strategy for conscious mind travel is,
1. I gradual exhale and inhale
2. I shut my eyes
3. I relax and focus on ONE thing, which is nothing.
This is always the apex of my trip. Each practice fills the void in my life and I return home fulfilled with experience to write about. Rather than foistering shallowness.
The National Sleep Foundation believes it’s important to evaluate your quality of sleep. I think it’s better to understand thy self, so ruminate on Will Durant’s thoughts: “The only real revolution is in the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character, the only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionists are philosophers and saints.”
How do you manage to get enough sleep when you travel? Tell me!
There is nothing as such, good or bad.
Everything is good unless proven otherwise. Likewise, everything is bad, unless proven otherwise. In any case, it is typically a perception thing.
Is it bad that I want a travel job?
I’m sure it’s not. Don’t know about you but I’m …
Travelling is basically moving from nowhere to now here. When I move, with ease, my blood flows in comfort. It isn’t necessary you switch between airports. Three steps outside your comfort place is a journey if you see it that way.
Since travelling is a puller into a different perception or mode, you can achieve it by picking up a book or simply look at one thing for long and let your mind do the work.
The spiritual depth of mind journeying makes it one of a kind. In the end, you’ll find yourself wallowing in a peaceful state of mind. And it’ll be difficult to escape that state unless you disconnect from reality.
Worthwhile achievement please note.
Tied to travelling are several advantages as it submerges you into a completely new world. In my last trip to Edo State, I learned some tricks that made me savour a travel job.
In no particular order, here are the few sweet spots.
Travel makes you creative
No one will tell you how- to, immediately you leave your comfort zone, your creative side wakes up.
When packing, I flexed my creative muscle to fit all my needs into my medium sized Tiger Power bag. I dislike flying luggage.
In my 30 days of stay there, I slept in over 7 hotels, and sleeping in Agenebode, Sanbongida Ora and Afuze for barely 2 days- those short stays amplified by prompt packing and unpacking experience.
Deciphering how to socially fit into your new environment is also what creativity does.
Do you think you’re not creative? Take a trip.
Travel makes you smarter
By the time a street thief picks your pocket as you struggle with your small luggage amidst the big ones, you will be conscious of your position.
Such a situation will disrupt your travel plans and make you survive on cereals, but it will never happen to you again.
Unless you’re a dumb ass. If you’re, it won’t happen the seventh time.
Congratulations. You’re smarter now.
Travel builds your exposure
Most times I run away from home. My babe dislikes it but I think it’s best for her.
I foist my shallowness on her if I don’t go out.
Travelling broadens your horizon.
Your brain picture more activities, events and scenarios… With this exposure, you’ve more to talk about.
Let me tell you one.
One Sunday afternoon in Benin, I decided to unleash the street side of me, so my friends (Michael + Dre) and I board a bus to Oluku (Uniben area) to revisit the student lives we had…
There were girls, booze and gists… A story for another article.
The highlight of that day was that I saw a conductor jumped down a bus as it halts, kneeled behind the vehicle’s front tyre and shook his bum dancing to the music his driver’s playing -One corner.
That guy infected many people.
But that how the street roll.
Travel makes you happier
With exposure comes happiness.
Though this depends on your perspective of situations, irrespective, you can get happiness from even sad scenes, if you see it this opposite way.
Negative events = Gratitude
Gratitude = Happiness
Positive events = Happiness
Travelling makes you patience
If you’ve had a flight delay in the past, you’d understand the virtues of patience.
Even if you detest it, you’d be forced into it.
Before I took a flight to Borno the last time, I had gone by road. It was a stressful journey, I wouldn’t ever dare again.
I was rushing to Lagos to catch up with a family event then the bus broke down somewhere in the suburbs of Bauchi.
For more than four hours, we were there in the middle of somewhere. I wasn’t talked into sitting down, I respected myself, built hope, relaxed until I decided to move.
One lesson from that day: I never again lived my life on the run, I lived on the walk…
That slow stroll that opens the journey ahead and let me breathe in my thinking.
My friend, Gbenga said I like travelling job because I’m Ajala.
I love his opinion.
Do you like a travelling job? Let me know?
Sitting still while you journey is a habit I had imbibed from the first day Pico Iyer mentioned it.
And he was right then, and still right to this day.
When I warm my couch, couch surfing aside, I travel miles high in the distance of nothingness. Yet, it enriches me with gratitude and self-acceptance as I return.
I’ve heard of places, here in Nigeria where you only ferry to. I’ve had friends and families worked there, but I’ve never been there.
Bonny Island is one of them. It’s in Port Harcourt, Rivers State. Maybe! Maybe I’ll visit someday to experience the busy waters and how it allows humanity to disrupt its peace ☮️. Also, I’d investigate the Adam of the Island from locals.
Bonin Island struck me. It’s in Japan. Reading about it on the Google Arts and Culture App gives me a lot of hope about creation and the creator itself- in and within itself.
It reveals the connection between all and the significance that not all matter actually matters. Little do people realize that they can travel wide without leaving a spot?
Otherwise known as the Ogasawara Islands, the Bonin Islands has over 30 subtropical and tropical Islands.
Of all the Islands, only one or two is inhabited, Chichijima and Hahajima. That’s probably where the Bonin came from, as “bunin” is a Japanese word meaning “no people.”
In between the rocks, deep blue waters and landscape and its topological accessories, the fishes and land creatures of unimaginable sizes, collections of corals and shrubs, I danced with the view of meeting them all in esoteric reality.
Bonin on the list.
And below are the documented horizon I’d love to see…
1. The Pacific Ocean that surrounds
2. The island chain as they link
3. The sea cliffs
4. The pillow lava
5. The moist and dry forests in the lowlands and rocky mountain slopes
6. The undersea volcanoes 🌋
7. The school of whales’ 🐋, dolphins’ 🐬, and sea turtle 🐢…and
8. The tiny views that tie my eyes
Expect my coming Bonin, but before then, take these lines as I long to meet you…
In the heart 💓
that makes more sense to me
is the quest to meet Bonin
In it wetness, freshness and opened arms
and to see the character
With which the owner of eternity
has bestowed you…
Seriously, when they say, “you never know the value of what you have until you lose it.”
Always. I hiss.
But, it’s true and I’ll correct the err with this August Ilorin travel.
I schooled and lived in Ilorin for almost ten years, and often visit there until last year. Throughout my stay, I seldom step outside the metropolis.
What’s the hindrance, your mind asked?
First, the book was chasing me.
Second, I was chasing money.
For almost 12 months that I’ve visited Ilorin now, it’s seems like forever. My poetic mind reads,
Home sweet home
I’m a player on loan
Like a fleshy bone
My soul yearns for home.
So I want to go back for one week.
And it’s this August. I can breathe in some fresh air.
… Is it my fault?
You might question, where are the fun places to visit in Ilorin?
Lots, I tell you.
And this time, I’m going to take along with me, a German shoe, the type whose sole never dies. I shall journey the abyss of Esie, the crannies of Jebba, the thickness of Molete and the freshness of Asa.
Wait. I’m not done yet.
I won’t miss the cheese in Pategi.
Whet your appetite right?
In this post, I want to share with you, a list of my unconventional life strategies as it’ll relate to this trip’s planning.
Next time you plan a trip, maybe you’d find this useful and consider adopting it.
Shebi you care?
Begin with the finish line mindset aka, what’s you travel goal?
It’s a sort of shame kind of, for a travel journalist to visit a city and not tap the crunchy part of it, even if it’s for a glimpse.
I failed earlier but this time, I won’t dull.
My travel goal is to explore the deep cultural heritage of Kwara state, without covering the modern sweetness and of course, see some old folks.
In a wrap, I want to have fun while I look out for what speaks to humanity.
Sometimes, the new environment is so comforting that you forget your home.
You’d want to stay longer.
Remember, more days, more expense!
Estimate and agree, with yourself, your travel period before you hand ✋ your backpack.
Except that my babies always miss me, everywhere is home. As long as I can put my nose to the ground stone, and my mind can never mind the unknown.
Everywhere is home.
My travel period always depends on the places I plan to visit and some extra days should I fall short. It depends on my pocket too.
Plan your cost
It’s difficult to plan cost especially if it’s a country you’re a first timer -where you don’t know the living cost.
On my second trip to Edo State, I barely lived on nothing except santana. I wouldn’t eat until noon, and when I mount the fufu, you’d be scared I won’t walk again. Then, I’d have Suya and Garri for dinner. I was being cost effective.
The workout plan is that I travel with lots of beverage, groundnut and garri -incase the game changed.
Aside from flight or bus fare, hotel expenses and daily meals that you can plan from research, local transport and meals may be difficult to estimate. But, beverage could get your back.
I use Google maps a lot. It saves me cash.
Save some cash
Maybe on another travel but this August one, I’m not gonna save a dime. I’ll just go and make sure I’ve N35,000 ($100). Whatever happens, it’s my home. I’ll survive.
Book a flight
To Ilorin? Hmnn.
Maybe when the flight is to Greece.
If it’s Ilorin, I’ll certainly take a bus since it’s 5.30 hours max.
I’ll use flight the day I plan to miss the hilarious gist in those tight and fold legs buses.
In Ilorin? Okay.
I have better than an hotel apartment. My aunt lives in the heart 💓 of the city. Just a stone throw from the buzzing ShopRite.
This is important.
Have a time table and make it as detailed as possible. Map out your time and when you’d be at any particular time. This is strictly essential for me as I’m quite sure that if I didn’t, I would most of my time talking Kwara politics and looking at the GRA babes at the gizdodo stand.
Pack and be set
My backpack is local made, I love it because it stretches as you load it, but my Dell Laptop is killing it. I’ve to find a replacement.
For now, it’s still the bomb.
Here’s my packing tips;
2 Jean Trousers
1 Jean short
5 T shirts (2 jojy branded & 2 long sleeves)
2 Boxer shorts ( wash 1 wear 1)
1 of my Nike and Reebok footwears
Since you’ve read to this point. Thanks.
That’s for you alone.
Long story turned short, plan your travels with the who, when, why, how and where format.
Remember, the who is “you.”
Ilorin travel this August, here we go!